Introduction
Parent-child relationships can cause tension within families. Numerous literary pieces provide in-depth discussions and analyses of the subject. In the short story “I Stand Here Ironing,” Tillie Olsen masterfully captures the viewpoint of the working single mother in the middle of the nineteenth century. In particular, the short story concisely represents how an individual’s resilience is shaped by empathy.
The protagonist is a hard-working person who sacrifices her time with her daughter, Emily, to create a path full of great opportunities to better the adversity in their life. However, through the story’s progression, Emily fills the vacuum by building resilience and disconnects from the world. The mother realizes the developments and expresses frustration but ultimately shows empathy for Emily by acknowledging the challenges and sacrifices the daughter made due to her mother’s circumstances.
The Lack of Empathy in I Stand Here Ironing
Empathy is the capacity to understand or discern what another person is experiencing based on what they have observed and experienced and being able to place oneself in the other person’s position. Seeing someone get hurt and experiencing discomfort or imagining the pain just by looking at that person is an example of empathy. It is as if an individual has been hurt personally, even though it may be hard to know the other person’s feelings just through observation.
Supporting their family while forging and sustaining close relationships with their kids is a challenge many single moms face. Due to a lack of time, it might be challenging for single mothers. In the short story, Tillie depicts how the narrator cannot give Emily the care and attention she needs. During a large part of Emily’s development, she and her mother separated from one another.
Emily has only really experienced separation and movement. When she was eight months old, the narrator sent her to an uncaring neighbor for daycare, then to the house of her father’s family, then to another caregiver, and finally to a rehabilitation center. The narrator observes how Emily gradually became emotionally unresponsive and increasingly aloof as a result of having to reintegrate into the shifting dynamics of the family every time she visited.
The situation worsens when the narrator sends Emily to a convalescent home for children. Her mother expected Emily to have the kind of food and care she could not manage to provide for her. She further intended to be free to concentrate on the new baby. After the eight months that Emily was holed up in the convalescent home, she became a distant person towards her mother and became conscious of what she was missing. When she looked at her step-sister, Susan, she was outgoing and connected to the people around her, something Emily wished to be. Emily became insecure and started comparing herself with her younger sibling, resulting in her being emotionally and physically restrained from doing what she wanted.
Therefore, the story manifests a lack of empathy Emily endured. Without empathy, people cannot connect, leading to bad relationships. Emily’s mother had to work sleepless nights to fend for her daughter and herself, unconscious of the consequences that might happen when a child is left alone with strangers. Even the presence of trustworthy people like the father’s parents could not fill the vacuum of the lack of connection and potentially cause strained relations.
The Role of Empathy for the Characters of I Stand Here Ironing
In “I Stand Here Ironing,” Olsen explores the idea that our resilience is shaped by empathy. As the narrator looks back on her own life and the choices she made as a parent, she begins to see how her struggles and hardships have influenced Emily’s development. The narrator grapples with guilt and regret for not being able to provide the care and support that Emily needed during her childhood. The narrator’s inability to fully attend to Emily’s needs is influenced by factors beyond her control, including financial insecurity, a lack of education, and the demands of caring for a large family.
The short story shows how the mother is painfully honest in her reflection on parenting. The story’s unnamed narrator does not make excuses for her shortcomings or subscribe to the societally accepted notion of painting a pretty picture of motherhood. In contrast, when speaking to a caller concerned over her daughter’s behavior, she highlights the mistakes she made as an early parent and uses their past together to explain that simply being a mother does not grant her additional insight. “I Stand Here Ironing” focuses on the silent burden of motherhood, as depicted through the narrator’s difficulty balancing motherhood with work and her struggles.
The narrator suffered from the horrible decisions she made for her daughter. However, the narrator can maintain a deep love and connection with Emily even as she encounters numerous challenges. It is this deep love that ultimately helps to shape Emily’s resilience and determination.
The narrator’s attempts to comprehend and identify Emily’s emotions and experiences play a significant part in how empathy shapes Emily’s resilience. She demonstrates a determination to stand by and correct things for her daughter. The narrator can provide Emily with a sense of stability and security despite her numerous difficulties by showing her love and concern for her. Through the narrator’s encouragement to follow her aspirations and have faith in herself, Emily also gains a strong feeling of self-worth and self-esteem thanks to the narrator’s empathy.
In spite of her daughter’s lamentation and physical discomfort, the narrator cared enough to read parenting books. She carefully considered the recommendations of the professionals before doing as she thought was best. Most mothers struggle with the dilemma of deciding whether to follow their biological cues or adhere to the recommendations of child specialists.
Along with the help and understanding from the narrator, Emily’s resiliency is also influenced by the empathy of those around her. For instance, Emily’s professors and mentors see her potential and try to make her successful, giving her the direction and inspiration she needs to achieve her objectives. These encouraging connections aid Emily in gaining the self-assurance and resiliency she needs to meet her problems.
Conclusion
In conclusion, when a lack of empathy is depicted during a child’s upbringing and growing up, they will build resilience and solely become dependent on themselves. Overall, the idea that the resilience of a person is shaped by empathy is an essential theme in Tillie Olsen’s “I Stand Here Ironing.” Through the narrator’s love and care for Emily and the support and encouragement of others in Emily’s life, Emily is able to develop the resilience and determination that she needs to overcome the challenges that she faces. By exploring this theme, Olsen highlights the influential role that empathy can play in helping individuals overcome adversity and achieve their goals.