Three Models of Grieving
Grief and mourning are critical experiences “that occur after the loss of a close relative” (Olasinde, 2012, p. 104). Mourning is something experienced by individuals from every background. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross presented five unique stages of grief. Many psychotherapists use such stages to support different individuals after the loss of their loved ones. The first stage is called denial. Many individuals will not accept the reality after the death of a close relative. The second stage is anger. Most of “the affected individuals will be angry with others or even themselves” (Olasinde, 2012, p. 105). Counselors should be aware of this stage in order to support their clients. The third stage is known as bargaining. This stage occurs when the affected individuals reexamine their positions and beliefs. The 4th stage of grief is depression. Human beings will feel unhappy after the loss of a close partner. However, this stage occurs when the targeted individual has begun to heal (Lyon, 2000). The final stage of grief is called acceptance. This stage indicates that the affected individual has accepted the reality. However, this stage varies significantly from one individual to another.
Christianity: The Story of Job
The story of Job in the Holy Bible also highlights some unique stages of grief. According to the Holy Bible, Job was dealing with a complex situation. This is the case because God was part of his mourning. Job therefore “provides a worst-case scenario of grieving and human suffering” (Lyon, 2000, p. 153). The five stages of grieving can also be used to analyze Job’s experience. To begin with, Job believed that God was faithful. This fact explains why he did not deny his situation. The second stage of grieving shows clearly that Job was angered by his situation. He even “cursed the day he was born” (Lyon, 2000, p. 154). Job also bargained during his grieving process. He wanted to be dead. Job also became depressed throughout his grieving period. Most of Job’s friends misdiagnosed his challenges. They also pretended to be wise. However, the Holy Bible shows clearly that Job was wise than his friends. Job had already accepted his situation before encountering such difficulties. This scenario happened because he was a firm believer. The story of Job also presents a sixth stage of mourning. This stage is called joy. God eventually blessed Job because he remained faithful.
Islam presents a unique process of grieving to its believers. Many Muslims believe that “every kind of suffering comes from Allah” (Lyon, 2000, p. 154). That being the case, Muslims should always accept every form of suffering. Muslims also believe that “every dead person returns to his or her creator” (Bahar, Beser, Ersin, Kissal, & Aydogdu, 2012, p. 109). The religion also expects its people to mourn for three days. The surviving spouse is allowed “to mourn for a period of 40 days” (Lyon, 2000, p. 154). However, the agreeable fact is that every Muslim will experience the five stages of grieving.
Relationship between the above Grieving Models and Joy
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross explores the experiences encountered by different individuals after the loss of their beloved ones. The five stages of grief also explain how a person deals with the challenges associated with mourning. The grieving process eventually results in joy. This experience occurs after the affected individual accepts the reality. This model is therefore useful because it makes it possible for many individuals to achieve their goals. As mentioned above, the story of Job presents a sixth stage. The Holy Bible explains how “Job finds happiness and contentment after overcoming his challenges” (Lyon, 2000, p. 159). That being the case, human beings should treat mourning as a natural process.
Grieving makes it easier for individuals to heal after losing their beloved ones. Many Muslims also accept challenges such as death because they are inevitable. The religion encourages its believers to mourn after the loss of a beloved person. This “mourning process opens new doors for joy” (Bahar et al., 2012, p. 109). However, different people will have unique experiences after the loss of a beloved relative. Many people will lead normal lives after experiencing the above grieving process.
My Preferred Method of Handling Grief
Elisabeth’s grieving model supports the major stages of my grieving process. Christianity encourages its believers to mourn after the loss of their beloved people. This fact explains why I have been following the five stages of mourning. This study has also encouraged me to change my view of grief. I will always be ready to accept my situation especially after the loss of a beloved person. I always treat personal loss as something mandatory in a man’s life (Olasinde, 2012). I will always interact with different friends and relatives after the loss of a special person. This practice will make it easier for me to lead a normal life. The ideas and concepts gained from this study will encourage me to react positively throughout my grieving process. This approach can also support the expectations of many people.
Bahar, Z., Beser, A., Ersin, F., Kissal, A., & Aydogdu, N. (2012). Traditional and Religious Death Practices in Western Turkey. Asian Nursing Research, 6(1), 107-114.
Lyon, D. (2000). Before Kubler-Ross: Lessons about Grief from the Book of Job. Obstetrics & Gynecology Journal, 96(1), 151-162.
Olasinde, T. (2012). Stages of Grief, Loss and Bereavement. Online Journal of Medicine and Medical Science Research, 1(6), 104-107.