Parenting involves ensuring that the wellbeing of a child from infancy to adulthood is guaranteed. It entails the provisional of physical and emotional needs of the growing child in addition to social and intellectual support. Each parent wishes to perform their parenting roles to their best in raising children. As a mother, there are areas I am proud of in carrying out my parental responsibilities. However, I would feel better if I could change the way I perform these duties. Although there are several aspects of parenting that should all be catered for, parents actually do better in some areas than in others. I have discussed some of these aspects in this paper from my own perspective.
Discipline of children
Children normally have the same behavioral pattern as the adults around them. They learn to respond to situations depending on what they have observed adult do. This includes screaming at people if they are sometimes being screamed at. Screaming can be avoided by parents loving themselves and their children in a manner that does not elicit deep-seated anger (Runkel 201). This is one of my parenting skills that I would want to improve on. It requires self control of emotions, a habit that children learn from heir parents. According to (Bailey 26), self control involves being aware and in charge of one’s emotions such that you consciously respond to situations and not by reflex. Discipline therefore should begin with parents.
Punishment and rewards
There is need for parents to avoid punishing children each time they make a mistake and rewarding them when they do what is considered right. I have to admit that I still find it hard not to ground my own children when they misbehave. As Kohn (23) has noted, children need not feel they are conditionally loved. They need to feel that their parents love them no matter what they do. Parents should therefore make appreciative and descriptive praise rather than evaluative to avoid this (Moorman, 120).
The kind of speeches we make in the presences of our children affect how their minds develop and grow with a direct bearing on their self esteem (Shore 137). Keeping on shouting at them not to do something derails their inquisitive skills. It is better to direct children on what to do than to keep on preventing them from doing other things. What I keep on asking myself is how to stop telling my children ‘’no’’ or ‘’don’t’’, words I am aware these derail their mental growth when used too much.
Learning from mistakes
I make mistakes yet I am a grown up adult. I therefore do not expect my children to make the right decisions all the times. When they make mistakes, I take the responsibility to make then acknowledge their mistakes and learn from them. If children do not learn from their mistakes, they are likely to develop defensive personalities. These kinds of children are likely to run away from hard situations. When they put up a fight, it is to protect their self esteem and not to achieve the right decision (Brooks and Goldstein 168).
Creative play time
Although I have a busy work schedule, I constantly create time to play with my children. Apart from our frequent weekend outings, I frequently create conditions that allow for playful activities in the course of the day. When children are involved in creative and imaginative play, it helps them to develop physically, intellectually, socially, and emotionally (Ginsburg 3). Play should allow the children to explore their creative abilities without any adult’s agenda. When play is designed as an educational program to meet certain requirements, it does not leave the children to freely and actively explore any area of their abilities.
Parents should value the relationship they share with their children. Although children need to be guided to develop into responsible, caring, and healthy adults, parents should not attempt to manipulate and control their children. I would not try to don’t try to predict what my children will be as adults, or tune them to a specific line at their young age. It is important to recognize the complexities of individuals and acknowledge the open –ended possibilities of what a child can become in his or her adulthood (Pierce and Mendizza 10). There are some characters of a child that a parent cannot control. When they try to do this and influence their behaviors, then they are likely not to achieve their objectives.
Raising children is a difficult and challenging task that can be overwhelming to parents. As illustrated by the above discussion, love is a basic need to good parenting. It leads to better judgment on decisions by which is fundamental. Parents should also allow the children to develop independence of mind. All in all, a lot is required on the parents’ part in raising their children. A parent may meet some aspects of these but rarely all as we human beings are not perfect.
Bailey, Becky. A. Easy to love, difficult to discipline. New York: Harper Collins, 2002. Print.
Brooks, Robert, and Goldstein, Sam. Raising resilient children: fostering strength, hope, and optimism in your child. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2002. Print.
Ginsburg, Kenneth, R. “The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds.” Pediatrics 119 (1): 182–191. Print.
Kohn, Alfie. Unconditional parenting. New York: Atria Books, 2005. Print.
Moorman, Chick. Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Children in Language that Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2003. Print.
Pearce, Joseph, and Mendizza, Michael. Magical parent, magical child: the art of joyful parenting. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books and In-Joy, 2004. Print.
Runkel, Hal. Scream free parenting: raising your kids by keeping your cool. Duluth, GA: Oakmont, 2005. Print.
Shore, Allan, N. Affect Regulation and the origin of the self: the neurobiology of emotional development. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum, 1994. Print.