Parenting is the art of upholding and supporting the physical, emotional, emotional, social, and intellectual growth of a child from a tender age to adulthood. Parenting may also mean all activities undertaken by the parent to bring up the child rather than just the blood relation. Even though the government and the society play a role of bring up a child, the major role is played by the parents who have a blood relation with the child. However, orphaned and abandoned children are often raised by foster parents who are not their biological parents. The main aim of parenting is to protect the children and to put in their skills and cultural values till they attain adulthood (mostly after adolescence) (Berkly, 1984).
Parenting styles can be termed as a construct of the mind that represents standard ways that parents use to bring up their children. In raising their children parents should neither be punitive nor aloof but should develop rules and regulations to be followed by their children and also be affectionate with them (Bornstern, 1995). There are about four styles of parenting that try to put together acceptance and responsiveness on one side and demand and control on the other
The four styles of parenting include
This style is child-centered and holds high expectations for the child to act in a mature manner and follow the parent’s rules and regulations. It gives room for discussions on the rules, regulations, and the behavior of the child between the child and the parent. This style allows the children to be independent while still following the set rules and regulations and controlling their behaviors. In the authoritative parenting style, the parents are warm and nurturing towards the child and always allow an open discussion with the child. In this style, the child has the freedom to make their own decisions based on their own thinking and reasoning about things (Bornstern, 1995).
In an authoritative style parents demand maturity from the child and when punishing the child, the parent always declares his or her motive of the punishment. The punishments are not harsh but measured and consistent in disciple (Berkly, 1984). An authoritative parent always set limits and standards for their children thus allowing them to be autonomous, however, the child is expected to act mature and behave according to his age.
The authoritative parent is very keen to the needs of the child and many times will not punish the child in case of a mistake. Children that are brought up by use of authoritative style always have a high esteem and are independent because of the free discussions that they always have with their parent. These children are always cheerful, have self control and are achievement oriented; the children also do well in studies and have a high academic efficiency. In the society these children are liked by all people and especially the teachers (Hickman, Bartholomae & McKenry, 2008).
Authoritarian Parenting Style
This style always places high expectations on the child to comply with the set rules and regulations and does not allow for any discussion between the child and the parent. In authoritarian parenting the child usually adhere to the rules and the regulations that the parent has put in place. He or she is made to understand that the work and effort of his or her parent should be respected.
In this style, no explanations are given to the child as to why the rules, regulations and limits are put in place. Authoritarian parents do not pay attention to the needs of the child and they may beat the child as a form of punishment instead of grounding or talking to the child. In this form or style of parenting, the child is not autonomous and always follows what the parent say (he or she cannot think and make decision on him or herself (Bornstern, 1995).
Children from this parenting style always become anti social and since they cannot decide for themselves they wait for other to decide for them. These children also are always afraid, unhappy, anxious and have poor communication skills. In the end some of these children tend to do things that their parents disapprove like taking alcohol, drug trafficking and taking, having relationship at tender age and even marrying a lady or a man that their parents disapprove. Authoritarian parenting style affects the boys more than the girls. Children from authoritarian parents always seem to be happy whenever one of the parents dies (Hickman, Bartholomae & McKenry, 2008).
Indulgent Parenting Style
Many parents who use indulgent parenting style are those that have come from authoritarian parenting. In indulgent parenting, the parent does not give much regard to the behavior of the child. The parent also is very much involved with the child and has few demands and control over the child (Berkly, 1984). The parent will respond to the child wishes and needs since he or she want the child to like him or her. This is because the parent is always afraid that the child will rebel and thus tend to treat the child the way the child wants. In indulgent parenting style, the child has a freedom to behave the way he or she wants with no much concern by the parent.
Children from this parenting style are always immature, impulsive and low achiever especially in school (Bornstern, 1995). These children also do not accept their responsibilities and always blame others for their mistakes, they also lack self control and always depend on other people. Since these children are really punished they end up in social misconduct at the adolescence stage. In adulthood, these children often tend to live near to where their parents are and maintain a close relationship with their parents. However, if these children are taken to a boarding school or a school that is far from home, they tend to be more independent and smart (Hickman, Bartholomae & McKenry, 2008).
In this parenting style the parent is so detached with child and does not respond to it needs though they provide the basic needs. Parents have no rules, regulations and limits set for their children. Parents in this style are only concerned about their own needs other than the needs of the child. Children from this style of parenting always grow up knowing that the needs of their parents are more important than their own needs (Bornstern, 1995).
These children have a low esteem, are immature and tend to feel that they are not part of the family. The children also have bad behaviors and are very anti-social. Due to this kind of parenting their relationships in live are always affected and they may end up having odd sexual behaviors since their parents did not teach them or punish them in case of a mistake (Hickman,Bartholomae & McKenry, 2008).
In conclusion all parents should try to adopt the authoritative parenting style so that their children can grow up in a more suitable environment and become better people in the society. This will help them in their day to day work, their relation with other people and will always ensure that their children will have a better life too. Since using authoritative style of parenting allows the child too be autonomous and to make decisions on their own, when the child become an adult he will be more responsible and he will be able to make the right decisions depending on the circumstances.
This is an advantage over the other methods that do not allow the child to be autonomous and thus he may end up making irrational decisions in the future. The child also raised in an authoritative has a better relation with the society due to the fact that he has been trained to at in a mature manner and to always respect other people.
Belsky, J. The Determinant of Parenting. A process Model. Child Development. 1984,(55,83-96).
Bornstern, M. Hand book of Parenting. Hillslale. Erlbaum. 1995, 20-60.
Hickman, G.., Bartholomae, S. & McKenry, P. Influnce of Parentimg Style on the Adjustment and Academic Achievement of Traditonal College Fishermen. 2008, (41(1), 41-54).