The above article shows that there are many types of relationships that can be divided into four categories. These affections arise either between the parent-child relationship and those taking care of the child. The following categories show how a minor will behave or carry themselves depending on how their needs are responded to secure relationship, avoidant relationship, ambivalent relationship, and disorganized relationship. The manner in which a minor relates with the parent may affect the way the child relates to society in the absence of the parents.
Different Types Of Parent-child Relationships
This is a major type of connection. There is a common sense of confidence from the child toward his/her guardian or parent. Due to access to support available from the parent whenever it is needed and positive anticipation when the need arises the child feels connected to the parents or care provider.
How secure a child is will determine how fine he or she acts towards others of his/her age. A child may weep when the parent leaves and will usually calm down when calmed by a responsive adult. This is because the child happens to feel protected from the sort of handling that he/she is accorded from the adult who can be as a result of patting the child or giving him something tangible, they tend to feel esteemed and cared for. It is also very necessary for their healthy growth. Later on, when the parent is back and picks the child they are pleased and even giggle. I beg to differ with the authors of this article when they say that the child may find it hard to leave the care provider because they may still be upset when the parent left in the morning not to be quite true because a majority of young children tend to forget so fast the things done to them hence may not still be upset that they were left earlier by the time the parent comes back. Most of the time all they can connect to is their bond of love to their parents through the actions they do towards them consequently it is very vital to always develop positive and secure attachment relationships with the children (Magatta, Myers. Walls, and Dee, 2010).
Secure affection relationship with the child is achieved through the response or attention accorded to the child whenever they are in need. A child especially an infant is a helpless individual who will always look up to an adult for help due to their inability to help themselves. The help needed so badly should always be consistent in order to avoid mistrust and although it should be consistent this should not result in over-care that will result in the child being spoilt and not independent.
This is the number two kind of relationship attachment. It is mainly found among families that do not have stable positive relationships with their members and even so this goes down to their children. Children that are neglected by their parents or care providers have learned not to depend on their parents in meeting their needs and hence they develop their own mechanism on how to rely on themselves.
Such children demonstrate the following qualities; they tend to be self-determining, do not ask for assistance, but regularly do get aggravated with no trouble, do find it troublesome playing with their age mates. They frequently demonstrate unconstructive practices like roughly pushing, cutting, hammering, and shouting at people, unlike the other protected children. They do not build a stable relationship with the care providers in their surroundings. They do not take action towards the coming back of adults or parents (Magatta, Myers. Walls, and Dee, 2010).
They feel with or without their presence there is not much difference hence develop to be very withdrawn and lonely individuals that don’t care about anyone else because no one else cares about them. Such attachment should be avoided at all costs because it builds unhealthy societies that have social injustice on the increase. Parents should not avoid their children and the children should also have affection towards their parents for secure attachment to be developed. The type of parent conduct associated with this attachment relationship category involves rare response to a child’s requirements by the parent, lengthy waits experience prior to being nourished when they are starving, self consolation when a child is attacked with fright, being ignored when the child is eager about something and learning to be deal with their own requirements when they are not taken care of.
Ambivalence is mixed feelings or emotions that result in not being entirely certain about anything. This is a kind of attachment through which a child is attached to the parents or care providers result in confusion and lack of confidence on both sides. Such children have learned to transact with whatsoever circumstances come their way as they are not certain whether their requirements will be attended to or not. They have an attendance of using their precedent behavior’s that got their parents attention or their wants being considered. They have a tendency to display behaviors that tends to produce defense response from their parents. Such children show signs of such kinds of features. They are frequently clingy and they act more immaturely than for their actual age or are too sensitively close. They regularly shed tears, get disturbed without difficulty, and feel affection for being the center of interest. Do get distressed when not given notice and have a tough moment performing uncomplicated responsibilities (Magatta, Myers. Walls, and Dee, 2010).
They seem to fasten onto every person for a little period of instance and there is always a failure of a parent to comprehend the enthusiasm of the child and this causes a wrong response to a child’s requirements. The kind of parent-conduct linked to this category of connection includes; response or failure to react to the child’s cry, being nourished when hungry but mainly being feed when they are not starving, when scared the child is uncared for sometimes or excessively reassured at previous times and when the child is eager about something, a parent doesn’t comprehend and responds in such a way that does not answer the requirement. Such attachments are not healthy and should not be encouraged. They result in children that are not confident and lack trust in others (Magatta, Myers. Walls, and Dee, 2010).
Disorganized children are not familiar with what to look forward to from their parents. Such children do things that appear to create no sense, they sometimes speak actually speedy and hence it is not easy to comprehend them, very young children are likely to congeal in their footsteps for no obvious explanation and most of them have a difficult time comprehending the opinion of other children. When playing they will be inclined to do something terrifying or puzzling as they are not certain of themselves. Disorganized children are very hard to comprehend and they seem to be dissimilar from the everyday. This marks them into two types of disorganized connection (Magatta, Myers. Walls, and Dee, 2010).
Such children have a tendency to be very domineering with their fellow children. They mostly treat their fellow children in a childlike way acting like a grown-up. The kind of parent behavior related to this grouping of conduct includes the unusual response of parents to the child’s requirements when they are babies, failure of parents feedback to meet up the necessities of the children, such children regularly originates from families in which there is some type of carelessness or ill-treatment is occurring and it is reasonably noticeable that these children may possibly have one or more parents afflicted with despair or suffering from stress (Magatta, Myers. Walls, and Dee, 2010).
With all these categories of attachment, it is vital to develop a secure attachment relationship between the child and parent. This is because the child looks up to the parent for support and help and it is vital that the parent learn how to relate and meet the child’s needs through both small and big gestures they perform towards their children. However, it has also been noticed that when a child is going through a difficult situation like a bereavement in the family, break up or a sad moment in their life they may demonstrate features of ineffectiveness and should be accorded help to restore normalcy (Magatta, Myers. Walls, and Dee, 2010).
Parents and care providers should develop a secure connection with their children to ensure the correct character and skill development of the child for proper growth and functioning in society. This will also result in the child being able to relate well with other people in his/her environment. As a result, the child will be confident and will always ask for help when the need arises and have certainty that it will be made.
Magatta, L. C., Myers.walls, J. A., and Dee L. (2010). Different types of parent child relationship. Journal of Family Issues March 1994 15: 148-165.