In the past, the central role of a father was providing for his family. A father was given the role of disciplining children but he had no obligation to spend time with the children. However, this trend has changed greatly over the years. Today, a father is expected to love and act as a protector of the family. A modern-day father loves nurtures and cherishes the time they spend with their children something that plays a huge role in the growth of the children. The father should be able to work hard to create a strong bond with his children in order to influence them positively. This occurs when he spends quality time with his children while being involved in their daily activities. A father has the responsibility of teaching children new skills that will sharpen their skills to enter the real world. This education will become beneficial even as they become adults raising their own kids. (Almeida 160)
Unique relationship between a father and his children
The relationship that children have with their father is exceptional from all other relationships. The father’s presence in the development of the children offers a new perception depending on different issues that children face. This is because women and men have different ways of dealing with conflicts within a family setting. This new perception is very essential in helping children make decisions in their life. It does not matter if the couple is living together but rather the father figure is essential to healthy growth and mental advancement. The father should be able to spend time and have fun with the children. This will help the children and the father to have a close and healthy relationship. Even if the father is working all the time, he has to create time to spend with the children. (Bronte, etal 1215)
The role of a father in children’s life
Fathers help the children by playing with them while teaching them to participate in physical tasks. Fathers in most cases center on practical educational issues and do not merely talk about the way things are supposed to be done. The physical attention they give to the kids provides them with moral skills as well as moral confines in terms of physical interaction. When children have the influence of extremely interactive fathers, they tend to be inquisitive about various things in the environment around them. These children are also able to develop strong problem-solving skills that are important in the real world. This influence on children begins at a very young age. The fathers can be able to guide these young children to obtain positive influences of the environment they live in. The direction the father offers will help the children to be able to achieve a greater level of social strength. (Casey)
Research has indicated that children who have involved and loving fathers have good education results. The fathers who are loving and playful with their children help them grow up to be intelligent with good linguistic and cognitive abilities. These children are less likely to involve in problematic behaviors in school and present themselves with respect. A father’s educational influence on the child goes on until the child becomes an adolescent. Fathers who are involved with their children actively lead to good verbal skills as well as intellectual performance. They are not involved in bad behaviors around the school, home, or the neighborhood. They are also able to interact well with their instructors with confidence. Alternatively, they are not afraid to express their opinions because they have grown in an environment of understanding and good nurturing. (Coakley 410)
Fathers instill in their children emotional stability and confidence within their environment while playing with them as infants. They allow the children to acquire good social development skills as they grow up. In this way, the children are able to connect well with their peers as they grow and adjust to new surroundings easily. Studies further show that children who are well nurtured by their fathers mostly do not get depressed neither do they possess any form of disturbing behavior. They are mainly very social children and boys tend to have fewer behavioral problems. Girls who have fathers playing an active role in their life have strong self-esteem and are likely to carry themselves with respect. These children possess good mental and emotional stability. As they grow up, they tend not to get involved with drugs, violence and criminal activities. Fathers set a stage for a safe environment for the growth of children mentally and physically. (Everhart)
The other importance of a father in the life of his children is the quality of time he spends with them. In this way, the children are able to know about him and he is able to know about them. He can learn their good values and vices, their doubts and dreams as well as their standards. A father who usually spends time with his children is more caring. In this way, he is aware of their needs and pays attention to their problems. The children view a father who spends time with them as his way of showing his love for them. A father should be able to do many activities with his children to instill responsibility in them. For instance, when he takes time to take care of the house with the help of the children, they are able to learn the importance of responsibilities. Activities like playing with a ball and helping in studies help to increase the bond between them. This also helps the children develop emotionally, socially and physically. (Flouri & Buchanan 155)
A father who is there to nurture his children helps in establishing a close relationship with them. These children develop psychologically and grow to have self-esteem. The children look up to the father as a role model and thus it helps young girls as they grow from seeking attention from men. These girls are less likely to engage in reckless sexual activities for attention. Fathers have the responsibility to praise the children when they do something good. Small children should be hugged and comforted as a show of love and they will learn to love the father back.
The father offers the children a mental picture of how to act when faced with tough choices. Children learn how to have self-control in different circumstances. They are able to understand and react appropriately in different situations without harming anyone. This is carried on even as they become adults thus, they will not be involved in violent or criminal activities. (Gaddini 398)
The role of the father is to instill discipline in his children. It is very important how discipline is instilled in the children since some can lead to mistreatment. Boys need a father’s guidance in most cases and they feel more comfortable when corrected by their father. The father should be able to control the situation in his house and his children. The role of the father to provide and protect the family is very important in the modern world. Children are likely to feel more secure and protected when they know that the father is around. This does not mean that one has to be rich in order to take care of his family. The idea of being there and struggling with the family gives children the security they need. As they grow up, they admire and respect the father’s efforts to make their lives comfortable. (Thompson)
The father is also available to examine the social environment the children are exposed to. Children are safer when the father is aware of the friends they associate with together with their families. The father is there to check when the children are interacting with friends who are involved in criminal activities. He can be able to restrict their social surroundings to protect them from all sorts of harmful activities.
Children look up to the father as the head of the family and once there he is their role model. The father has to be available in the family in order to allow children to have someone they can look up to for emotional support. When a father is always absent, he lives a vacancy in the family, and children are likely to participate in bad behaviors. In this way, the father should have an objective for the family. For instance, a religious family will have spiritual needs instilled by the father to help the children understand its importance. (Gaddini 399)
In the past, children had many activities they were involved in that played a great role in child development. Today, technological advancements have affected even modern families. Video games, the internet, and television have become the main activities for many children. A father has the responsibility to involve his children in more recreational activities like playing football, swimming and hunting.
These activities help a child’s development rather than getting information that can be harmful from the media. Fathers will be able to teach their children new things that are fun and important in various stages in their lives. This will create room for an emotional connection between the father and his children. The role of the father is very important than what the media can offer. It is, therefore, necessary to limit the kind of entertainment the children are involved in. (Watson)
The duty of a role model
When a single mother brings up children, they are likely to experience less attractive results. This is because they have no male model to guide them on the challenges in life. When children are growing up with a mother alone, there are high chances of negative social, behavioral and emotional problems. This is brought about by a lack of a good family foundation and standards for the children. The mother in most cases is not able to be emotionally involved with the children because she is carrying all the burdens of being a single mother.
She is having a lot of things to take care of and thus may not have enough time for the children. The children are mostly left to take care of themselves and they tend to do things the way they feel is right. This is detrimental to their growth physically, socially and mentally. (Thompson)
There is a social stigma for single mothers and this negatively affects the children. The children feel that they are being judged by society and this may bring depression, especially to younger children. This lowers their self-esteem since they feel they are not worthy in society as the other children. They are affected psychologically and mentally by feelings of inadequacy. This leads these children to participate in anti-social behaviors such as drugs and premarital sex. This is because they are not happy with their lives and they do not feel the security of a family. The absence of the father in the family to give guidance and protection makes them lose direction in life. This is very painful to these children since they cannot do anything to fix these problems. They feel trapped in a situation that they cannot do anything about. This leads them to bad company and thus they are forced to engage in drugs and other criminal activities. (Parenting Roles)
The other problem that single mothers are faced with while raising children is financial problems. This happens because the father is not there to help with raising and providing for the children. The mother is striving on her own and in most cases; she does not have many family members to help her. This leads to financial difficulties on the family and this may put a strain on the children. The children do not acquire high-quality education like the children from a complete family. They do not attend good schools and therefore this may cause them problems as they grow up. The father’s support and financial aid would do a lot for such a family. The children feel this loss and at times blame the parent for their problems. This may cause conflict and misunderstanding that can be harmful to the children. (Metcalf)
I feel that there is no circumstance where a single parent will be able to help the children grow without problems. The child may look well and content but deep down he/she craves the love and attention of a father. Young children under the age of five are even bold and ask their mother to bring their father so that they can be happy. The mother is mostly concerned that she may not be able to do everything that the children need. Children will always need a father figure who will give them the emotional, social, and physical support they crave. It is not healthy for children to grow without knowing their father and therefore mothers should try to connect their children with the father. It does not matter if they live together but time should be created for the father to spend time with his children. (Lee)
When the father of the children is absent, a positive role model is essential to the development of the children. There are many ways in which a mother can be able to involve a positive role model for her children. Close relatives like grandfather, uncles, and cousins can prove to be very important to the children. In other cases, the school teacher can act as a role model to the children. The mother can also involve the children in community activities where they interact with the male leaders in the society like the church pastor.
These people can be able to guide the children and offer them information that the father was able to give. A guidance counselor can prove to be important in the lives of children. When the mother is not able to give appropriate advice to her children in case of a crisis, a guidance counselor can be able to help the family. Mothers should try to give positive role models to the children so that they can have someone to look up to. (King 81)
A positive role model is important to help children in order to help fill the void left by the father. The father cannot be replaced but a role model can be able to be there to guide the children on the right paths of life. The male role model will be able to offer the children the male value that she cannot offer. It is important to the children to have an emotional balance and a positive male role model can fill this. He is able to teach the children how to have self-worth and to value their life even though their father is absent. He gives protection to the family that could not be given by the father. All children have someone they look up to and a positive role model will be able to help them achieve their dreams. The mother can not offer physical protection and assurance that a male can provide. The opportunity for the children to learn from a male is very necessary for their growth. (Jain, Belsky, & Crnic 433)
Boys have many things that fathers teach them as they grow up. Things like playing football and other physical activities are very hard for a mother to give to the boy child. A positive role model will teach a boy child thing that will help him grow into a responsible adult. This is because they understand and have the experience like that of a father which they can offer the boy child. Girls are also able to get self-confidence from a male role model. In this way, they will avoid the problems of seeking men’s attention. The male role model will help a girl child understand the importance of family and respect oneself. This allows the children to spend time with a male and they can ask for all the information they need to know from a father. A positive role model will teach the children the importance of good behavior and how to carry themselves in society. (Goode 60)
A father is a very essential element as the child is growing up. Children need to see things being done by a role model in order to learn. In this way, the child will be able to accomplish things they begin. A father is the one to motivate the child to complete things and grow up to be a responsible person. It is therefore important that fathers be present in the lives of their children to give them something to look up to. Parents have the responsibility to bring up their kids well and when one is missing, there is a void that can not be filled. Children need the love of both parents in order for them to feel complete. The love and quality of time that a father offers to his children go a long way in helping shape their future. This is very important in bringing up children to be responsible members of society.
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